Why Man’s Life is Harder – 100 Facts

1. On the male body is less places to hide anything.
2. According to statistics, women live longer than men, although no physiological justification for Modern science has not discovered.
3. Women do not suffer from prostatitis and impotence they are not threatened.
4. Women are not threatened with early baldness. Later, however, too.
5. According to statistics, women suffer from alcoholism no fewer men, but the limit in drinking for some reason us.
6. Men’s nipples are useless – and in terms of laughter, and in terms of biological expediency. And sometimes so eager to feed someone breasts!
7. They can not solve the problem, just burst into tears.
8. They are more often dirty fingernails.
9. And they can not paint them with red lacquer.
10. They never give flowers. Unless it’s their own funeral.
11. They can not be scratched during orgasm. Biting is also not recommended. And women can be!
12. After orgasm, they were sure to have something to wash, clean or throw away.
13. Unlike women, men do not reusable contraceptives.
14. They are never sure they do not know if swallowed partner to laugh contraceptive the pill or not. It is known only to women.
15. After an orgasm (and after had something to wash, clean or throw away) they can not immediately be yet another orgasm. Even if you really want.
16. They have good reason to four days out of every twenty-eight to be in bad mood, cranky and behave irrationally.
17. They have good reason to strongly put on weight after the birth of their first child.
18. When they gain weight, no part of the body, making them smehualnee is not increased in volume.
19. Even if a man grow fat, so that would be like a woman on the ninth month of pregnancy, Metro him still no one will give way.
20. They never paid child support.
21. They have no choice is what to wear – a skirt or pants.
22. In fact, you can choose a skirt. But it must necessarily be in a cage, as the Scots – otherwise will be a representative smehualnogo minority (which the majority of the world of fashion, film critics and show business). And in a plaid skirt, go for the Scottish hard. So you have to buy bagpipes.
23. They need to shave only one part of the body, but every day. Otherwise, quickly become like Rasputin or the author of “Capital”.
24. If a man did dare to follow in the footsteps of the founder of Marxism, his girlfriend certainly found allergic to bristle. Who, I ask, so admired unshaven George Clooney?
25. Any man can hit between the legs.
26. When a woman hits a man, he could not give her change. This law, which can not be violated, even if it hits below the belt, that is, between the legs. And where is the law allowing them in such a case, at least pinch her breasts? There is no law!
27. Vaunted men’s erections are often not associated with arousal and smehualnym sometimes overtakes them in most inappropriate places. For example, in the pool, gym, or at the cemetery.
28. They have more chances to get rich – and therefore more likely to become victims of racketeering or robbery. But they are not threatened rape!
29. Women earn more than men in the easiest and most pleasant areas of the economy. For example, in the fashion industry. Or p * p * obiznese. But the women working there are much easier!
30. Only the male has the capacity for rational thought. Therefore, all the most important and important decisions have to be made for them.
31. If a man this morning does not look it, unlike women, can not quickly change situation for the better through a set of paints, pre-packaged for different (but equally expensive) bottles, bubbles and tubes. The only exception – the morgue.
32. If a man is neither developed intellect, nor the speed of mind and generally devoid of any sort any natural cleverness, he can not wrap it all in his favor, simply putting tight shirt. Exception – Mr. Olympia (bodybuilding champion).
33. They can not wear a gold and diamonds. Exception – Simon Semyonitch Horse.
34. They do not give rings and earrings, pendants and bracelets, gold and brillianty.Semen Semyonitch Gorbunkov – no exception.
35. To their feet do not throw the sable, and one hundred dollar bills.
36. They do not offer a waltz. The exception – a gay club.
37. Behind them are not being chased down the street shouting: “Do not give your telefonchik?”
38. They did not ask: “What are you doing tonight?”
39. they are not treated to drinking just because we have long legs and firm buttocks. Exception – gay bar.
40. The man can pierce his navel, nipple or tongue. But it will not talk about the free disposition and love of adventure, as in women, and that this man – an idiot. Exception – Representatives smehualnogo minorities and show business stars.
41. Each of them rode a bicycle. And everyone on the road turned out to be a foreign object, which it was impossible to avoid. Obeying the inexorable laws of physics, the body continued to move, and after the collision, hit with a soft seat on the iron pipe, called a frame. The result – see paragraph 25. A ladies’ bikes do without a frame!
42. Women do not get any injuries received during oral laughter with an inexperienced partner, inaccurate Treatment with a zipper on the trousers and improperly fastened tether with bungee jumping. After that, they still dare to say that the hardest in the world – have a child!
43. In the toilet, they are constantly at risk to splash his boots.
44. Sooner or later in life of every man there comes a point when it comes together with a woman to hang around the shops.
45. And also watch with her skating.
46. And also go to the theater.
47. And come on holidays to the mother-in for lunch.
48. In women, there is no mother in law!
49. They are hard to find good shoes.
50. They have to buy socks.
51. And wash them!
52. They do not smehualnogo underwear. All that they have – these are the pants, which are currently time recognized as the most recent.
53. Moreover, if a man dressed stylishly and smehualno, it will necessarily be a representative smehualnogo minority. The women are all in exactly the opposite.
54. Women do not have to learn to tie a tie.
55. A woman can not be morally destroy obscene remark about her lack of penis.
56. They can not increase his silicone breast implants.
57. Women do not have to pull the hairs out of his nostrils!
58. Women may appear for a moment before his wedding. He also has to time to hang around in front of civil registry offices in stupid costume for a whole hour!
59. Furthermore, women’s preparations for the wedding include the merry party with her friends, in which all sincerely congratulate the bride. Male pre-wedding ritual is reduced to the systematic humiliation of the bridegroom of his loyal friends who are trying all means to prevent inevitably impending fatal event.
60. Women tend to concentrate all his love on one subject. And they have to break between the girlfriend / wife and his beloved football team. Sometimes here still wedged in a brand newVolkswagen Passat.
61. In addition to higher education for a real man should know everything about cars, be skilled in electrician, carpenter and plumber, as well as professionally understand music and movies. Woman enough knowledge about what style of blouses worn in this season and a cream of a new line “L’ Oreal ” supposed to rub in a given time of day. You do not even need a parish school – is enough of glossy women’s magazines.
62. Plus the more recently they still have to cook, wash and scrub the floor! Give up – be accused of male chauvinism.
63. Women have never been accused of male chauvinism!
64. Men have to accept the fact that women reach a peak in the age when it’s time to think about life insurance children.
65. Men invented all the words. A woman simply transfer them to the female gender!
66. Although the models have long defile on the podium with an open chest, stare at cleavage companion for some reason is still considered indecent. Well, who put on the table, cake, while requiring is not sweet?
67. Since the artistic taste in men by nature is more developed than in women, it is difficult to find in decent video rental movie. But she did not hesitate, for the tenth time removes from the shelf to “escape the bride. ”
68. The fact that they are in size, on average, larger than women, making them more convenient target for dove flying above us, who have long suffered specially for the occasion.
69. Men – the authors of most inventions, great discoveries and works of art. Accordingly, they have high expectations!
70. When it comes to contact the technician or computer expert,
have to endure in his contempt for women’s views: it is considered that a real man should in all of this “iron” to understand himself.
71. A woman is much easier to master the subtleties of the oldest profession.
72. And they still get paid!
73. Their children’s dreams – to fly into space or to win the presidential election – almost unattainable. Then, as a woman to achieve its goal – to become a nurse, a stewardess, or just a mother – A hundred times easier.
74. They may under no circumstances will immediately organize a voluntary society wishing to join us in sex, just go to a nightclub after 22:30 and dazzling smile.
75. In the ski marathon they were running at more than twenty kilometers.
76. And all-around? them – ten sports? And we have seven!
77. In men during a brawl is preferred bash each other over the head with a beer bottles, but it is fraught with more serious injuries than women squeal taken and grabbing the opponent by the hair.
78. Male sex hormone testosterone, if it isolate in pure form, is a direct analog explosive mixture of heroin and cocaine at a ratio of 50 to 50. As if to his genitals tied string and drag all day for it in different directions – that’s how it works. And they still manage to such circumstances, be rational!
79. In women, a much richer palette of alcoholic beverages: liquor, cocktails and martinis with others carrot juice. All this is to taste, of course, plays the good old ershu, but a matter of principle!
80. The lower susceptibility of women to alcohol means that they need to spend much more money to properly relax.
81. Men often suffer from dependence on heavy metal. And, worse, from heavy metal ballads. In the most severe cases – from the ballads “Aria.”
82. At school they are forced to engage in serious, requiring hard physical types Sports. For example, football. And the girls get something lightweight, like badminton. Although badminton and sports is not call!
83. Plus, if they fail to shape, to physical education still has to run on field – in shorts. Of girls in such cases, for some reason, no one needs to strip to his underwear, and they all lesson calmly smoking in the toilet.
84. They are often punished in school.
85. They are generally more often punished.
86. Men accused of all wars. Markov pistol, rifle, M-16, Kalashnikov and intercontinental ballistic missile, “Satan” are phallic symbols, invented men only in order to compensate for their smehualnye complexes. And no one wants to
recognize that women really just do not understand anything any trait in the military and military equipment!
87. But in the case of exactly what they were being sent to the companies of the front mid-flight, while the women waved their handkerchiefs after us, brushing cheeks with bitter tears.
88. And if anything anywhere in the world is not so necessary to answer all the same to them, men.
89. They are gradually becoming less necessary. Occupations that have traditionally been ours turn into women. And vice versa. Women are already in play hockey!
90. How much would they not smiling gloomy traffic police officers and how many buttons would not unbuttoned shirt collar, they still have to pay a fine for speeding. But more often it is women who are perpetrators of accident!
91. They are doomed to go along with the women in romance with Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, after the session and listen for hours about what they “Dearie. At the same time, when a man sees Jennifer Lopez on the screen and let go a few well-aimed remarks about her manner to correct the rear pants, in 5 out of 10 cases he was accused of “bad taste, in three – will be called” smehualnym maniac “, and two – with him just stop talking.
92. After the words “Honey, let’s spend the evening at home today,” “there is no doubt that they will some harrowing television talk show for idiots, like “My Family” or “I myself”. At best – skating. At worst – Slutskaya loses.
93. They do not like champagne. But it has to open them. And getting a cork in the eye – too!
94. They listen in the car of Whitney Houston, Celine Dion and even the Queen Natasha, because in an age of feminism
it is believed that a woman has a right to choose FM-radio.
95. They tell jokes about how they hide in the closet and go down to his underpants on drainpipe. The funny thing is that sometimes it does not anecdote!
96. Women are not threatened with an intimate encounter with a transvestite.
97. And with a minor.
98. They can not marry a millionaire.
99. They are not allowed in the women’s bath!
100. None of them have never given the title “Heroine Mother”.